Hey sweetoms,
We leave a step to wash them away, to create a new ones each single day
I am stepping my path and I kinda like it more and more each day
October 24. 2015
As it came out in HMB
Endless waves, cloudy and misty fall weather, I am sitting here on the edge of sand tunes, which previous night waves have been building. So many different people as always, a couple with a dog, a teenagers catching the brain freeze cold pacific, group of college guys playing volleyball and of course amount of tourists wondering around and not even being in a moment, taking the pictures, any kind of them I can only imagine.
And then there is me. Again. One of my dreams is filled. How many years I have been dreaming to come here, my Half Moon Bay and write down my wavy thoughts about everything. And today I am doing that and god damn but it feels so everyday, nothing special and same time oh how special. In couple of weeks I need to fly back to Europe, back to London, somehow back to reality again while my life is in here. Smarty as I am, I have been creating this mindset that Europe is only temporary, a place what I visit. In the end almost always you need to give up something for al little while to reach your dreams. And I settled my thoughts to be happy and positive that time in Europe, do not stuck my mind that oh how bad is out there. Compare, that was what where I step wrong. It’s not, not at all. If I look a bigger picture I see that I am one lucky red. How so many incredible and inspirational little bit too crazy people life have gave me. I can say today myself that being 25 and owning friends in UK and CA who always waiting me, giving me a good word, going crazy with me and sometimes seeing my tears as well / this my dear readers is a true gift. For me the highest gift that I can imagine myself to have. Must have done something right.
It's a saying that usually the journey is where we should take gratitude. And now, after years being kinda unsettle about location, I finally starting to understand that. This journey what I have been gone thru already is something that is hard to describe to the fullest. There are so many emotions that we only understand when we feel them. When we let them to take us away and open our mind. And this is a life long way full of sadness, happiness, misunderstandings, expectations, growing and smiling, dropping some tears and been totally lost, finding the mindset and loosing it again.
Couple of days ago I was attending the yoga and mantra singing concert in Castro. For me it was a first time experience. I can’t say that I found peace inside me, little bit of course but I did realized again that how anxious I am inside me. How hard is to me to focus only on the moment. To focus on NOW. That moment and be there, not to think about your mailbox, Instagram account, money, surviving, Facebook messenger, how I look etc. And in the same time I feel that my second time in my home here have thought me so much about myself and I see how long way is to go. I will make it make it happen. The truth come out if we let it come out and its surprisingly difficult to be honest with yourself 100%. Admitting your situation, set your goals and look into yourself Look your fears and not run away anymore. Starting slowly to solve them, starting slowly to see them. For me, this is a huge thing already. Its all not about your friend, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband or wife, it’s about you. Only then when I am honest with me I see how things are starting to change. You are starting to meet people who u are like reflections of yours. At the beginning you wonder, how is this possible that some person next to you is sharing all the same life quotes. But it’s not that other person. Believe me, there are lots of people like you are, but they can only come to your life when you are being honest with you. When you don’t lie to yourself. I have learned how to let things and people go, and saw how new and even more interesting doors are starting to open.
Faith is this beautiful thing what keeps me going. Strong faith inside me what I trust, if I have to fall I fall because I know that I behind every fall are strong rising.
For everything there is a reason.
Some thoughts like that.
After writing I took a long long walk next to foamy waves. I even didn't want to clear my mind, it cleared by itself. Ocean was healing and giving me endless belief.
There is a big risk that you have seen this location so many times and no doubt that you will see it in future for sure many many times. As simple as it is, I am in love to Pacific, to Poplar beach here in Half Moon Bay. So many meaningful moments what this place have gave me.
Took all weekend to myself. Driving around and visited the places that I only wanted to visit. Turned steering wheel to there where I currently wanted. Filled my heart with explosive happiness.
Hgwy 1 and Moss Beach
Relfection. Home out here
Palace of Fine Arts
Of course, this is not all, I will show you little pieces where I spend my adorable Sunday.
If I can put filter thru my thought and writing them down for you, then sharing pictures is something where I haven't still learn to put filter, so I just show you everything. And probably knowing you guys, I know you like it and I can do it freely.
Sitting edge of the beach, just the moment before I met one little lost of the life young woman
Russian Hill
Alcatraz little bit farther out in bay
And my walks up and down in SF streets, not even taking my phone out to catch a picture, my time and vision on that moments are to precious.
Not all who wonder are not lost.
California Street and Bay Bridge
Today, it's a week and I will travel again. Will leave my home, that I can come back and bring again, some new energy to mix from Europe.
Life, as no surprise have been busy and fast, full of emotions and happenings and dance and music and wonderful people around and with me. Although even then, it is necessary to take time and step out and recharge. For me painting, giving my heart and soul again to art have been such a valuable time. It is giving me similar feeling than running and exercising. So here is a little preview:
Sine and confuse, that's what I do time to time
Moment captured from my dear friend Urmas
See you next time
That every day will be spiced up with little happy moments <3
